tudor times

It’s almost 2am. I have not been sleeping well lately and it’s not a mystery why I’ve been having sleepless nights. Let’s just say there is a decision that is being made that will affect my life greatly. I’ve been waiting for this decision now for over 5 weeks and I just heard that I will find out tomorrow. The anxiety has really been killing me. I’ve been trying my best to stay positive and put it in the back of my mind like everyone has suggested….but, when it comes down to it, it’s easier said than done. I have been living with all of these strong pent up emotions with no outlet that relieves my anxiety. Even my prescribed anxiety medicine isn’t working. All I can do is hope for the best and come to terms with whatever outcome I receive. I have to accept the unknown. I have to accept that G-d has a master plan for me. I will only be dealt what I can handle. I am going to try and lay down again. Looking forward to the weekend.

hilar!

I have successfully been wearing and removing my contact lenses for 6 days now. I feel like a brand new woman! I can’t believe I didn’t do this years ago. Having clear peripheral vision had made such a difference. I feel like a better driver now too.

I have yet to discover how much daily disposibles will cost but whatever it is – I will sacrifice to have them.

I also went to the allergist today. I did a breathing test (which always makes me super light-headed) and guess what? My breathing capacity percetange is almost 100%! That is pretty amazing. I do have light wheezing daily but it is not that bad and I can deal with it. It just gets embarassing if I am talking to a co-worker and all I hear is SQQUEEEEEEEK.

And I’m like, “Oh, that’s just my asthma. Don’t mind me.” They almost always say, “Are you OK, do you have an inhaler?” I use my inhaler like once/twice a month. I hate it because it makes me jittery. My hands shake and I almost feel like my blood sugar drops (in reality it doesn’t but it feels like it). I did get a new inhaler today that doesn’t make me jittery so that should be nice.

Weight Watchers is going well so far. I like all of the choices I have and I like my new found energy!! I think losing weight has helped my asthma and my doctor confirmed that today

More to come….

There must be something wrong with me. For the life of me, I cannot remove a soft contact lense from my eyes! I sat patiently with the Doctor guiding me and after 30 minutes we gave up and decided to give my eyes a break. I was instructed NOT to put the contacts in until tomorrow. I think the Doctor thinks I am doomed. I guess contacts aren’t for everyone

He also told me I have to use the antibiotic drops for the next day or two to avoid infection, since I grabbed at my eyeballs quite a bit in my removal journey.

The issue is that when I think I am moving the lense to the side or towards the bottom of my eye, I am really not moving it. And then when I proceed to take it out, I am just poking myself in the eye and not even touching the lense. My lenses are so thin that I can barely feel them! I have to look in the mirror to see the lense actually slide and then take it out but if I watch myself go at my eye, it makes me blink! That’s my dilemma. Oh well. I am going to try again tomorrow during regular business hours just in case I’m having issues I can see my doctor that day.

Suggestions?

The contractors were able to put in a new a/c system this past Thursday and it has been heaven! Now we have a digital thermostat which is great because I don’t have to wonder if it is really 72 or 73 degrees in the house LOL.

My air conditioning has been broken since May 27th which means this is day 7 of no a/c. The weather has not been kind, it is SO hot! Today is like almost 90 degrees! What are you doing to me Baltimore!?

More to come…

obviously not my eye

My first experience with contact lenses was not so pleasant. I went to my ophthalmologist on Thursday evening, very eager to try my contact lenses on for the very first time. I got the daily disposables because my doctor said they are the safest and easiest to use. It took about 30 minutes for me to insert the lense into my right eye. I’m not used to sticking stuff in my eye so it was quite an experience to get that sucker in. Once I got the first lense in, it took about one minute for me to insert the lense into my left eye.

SUCCESS! I could see so well. My vision was even better than 20/20 said the doctor. Then came the hard part (at least for me), removing the contact lense. I could not get a good grip for the life of me! I even had someone help it and I would grab the lense but it would suction back onto my eye! Finally, the doctor sat in front of me and I was able to remove it and put it back it. Life was great. I was told to keep the contact lenses in for 4 hours my first day, 6 the next day, 8 the day after and so on…

Come 10:30pm it was time to remove my contact lenses for the first time at home. This is where things turn a took for the worst. After poking at my eyes for about 45 minutes, I knew something was wrong. The pain in my left eye felt like razor blades. After a lot of huffing and puffing and even more whining, I was able to take out the right contact lense. Still, the left one was stuck. The same thing kept happening, I would grab the lense but it would suction back onto my eye. My eye was bright red at that point. I was ready to give up and sleep with the contact in but my friend Brandy was able to remove the lense from my eye after a few tries.

At that point I was drained! My eyes were burning and stinging and watery. I knew something was seriously wrong when after closing my eyes for a minute or two, upon opening everything looked cloudy. Needless to say, I woke up in the morning with yellow crust in my eye lashes around my left eye and cloudy gooey stuff in the eye. I called my doctor and they said to come in right away.

Too bad I had to pass a certification for training that morning. I had to wait a few hours and then go to the doctor. When I got there, the doctor put yellow drops in my eye that would make it glow in the dark. He took a look at my eye through whatever that big thing is that you have to put your chin on and….

I gave myself a corneal abrasion. Good job Jane! He told me not to get discouraged about lenses. I am not the first and certainly not the last person to do what I did. I have a follow-up visit in a week and a half to start this all over again.

I’m really excited to go back and try again even though I had a scary few days. You only get one set of eyes for life ya know!

Tomorrow I am turning 26. I am not quite sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, I feel blessed to have another healthy year under my belt. On the other hand, I don’t want any more grays! I was just telling my co-workers earlier today how in the last year, my gray hair has grown exponentially. It’s quite scary. But I think I am going to embrace the grayness. I have two choices, maybe three:

1. Rock the Salt and Pepper look
2. Start dyeing my hair after 6 years of not dyeing it once. I have black hair so I really don’t want to dye my hair black every month or so. It never looks natural. It always looks goth-like.
3. Dye my hair brown. I really like having naturally black hair because it makes me stand out. Plus I think it enhances my dark eyes and fair skin. I am not too fair but I am definitely not tan either LOL.

So only time will tell which way I will go…

I am celebrating at Boordy Vineyards tomorrow night (big surprise there) and then having lunch at Sonny Lee’s Hunan Taste on Sunday with my family. If the weather behaves, Boordy will be a ton of fun! They are having a Girl’s Night Out event from 6pm-9pm with a bunch of girly vendors (candles, chocolate, purses) and a cheese vendor from Vermont! I will be testing out my brand new picnic/wine basket:

I am such a nerd! Any who, hope everyone enjoys their weekend I know I will!

I woke up at 8:30am this morning. That is super early for me on a  Saturday. I decided to turn on one of my favorite movies. I’d say it’s like top ten. The Boondock Saints, written and directed by Troy Duffy, has a clever plot which involves two brothers that get a calling from God to kill of the evil men in their town and the FBI which tries to track down who is killing all these evil men. I absolutely adore Willem Dafoe’s character, Paul Smecker. It is violent at times but also truly hilarious and has a few great cameos too. I recommend it to everyone over 18.

“And I am reminded, on this holy day, of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, a long time ago, almost thirty years ago, this poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered her calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.”~The Boondock Saints

I’m not feeling too hot today so I think I will take it easy and rest it out. Til next time..